This song, after having Sigur Ros on repeat for weeks, is now on my repeat.

I first listened to this as a wedding video background song in Jason Magbanua's site. The wedding was held at Amanpulo and the song really caught my attention. After a few weeks, i heard a different version of it while watching this tv series. Anyway, it's by the Cary Brothers and Tiesto made a remix of it. Awesomeness.



Christmas this year was something i looked forward to. This year, i decided to prepare our Noche Buena.. from cocktails, appetizers, main course, and desserts.

Cocktails: cold cuts Milano Salami and (some other yummy kinda ham i forgot the name) with cheese

Appetizers: Toasted baguette with pate champanard (if i remember correctly) and gruyere cheese
Salad:mom's home made salad
Soup: mushroom soup
Main Course: Pepper Steak Stir fry with home made mashed potatoes
Dessert: Mango Rhum Sorbet and Royce Nama Chocolates ( Champagne and Mild Cacao flavor)
Alcohol: Bubbly, Tequila Rose, Vodka, Wine

I had the help of my in laws so we were workin the kitchen as early as 3pm. By the end of the night, our feet already hurt from standing the whole day.

The theme was Winter Wonderland so everyone came in white, silver or gray... then my other cousin brought some sparkly decorations to add to the wintery feel. After dinner we had our usual White Elephant which surprisingly ended quite early as compared to last year's since the gifts were pretty satisfying. After which the gifts were opened. I think the fam was lazy this year in terms of camwhoring because the boys were tired from playing DOTA the whole day and the girls were tired from cooking. So once the oldies left, we brought out the alcohol to spice things up a bit. Mark spent the holidays with us since his parentals were in the states.

This Christmas was so much different from last year. Amazing how time flies, and things change..but all for the better.

I think 2008 was good to me.. very good actually. I'm just excited for the things that will happen in 2009.. although i know it will a lot more challenging for me which i am excited yet scared for at the same time.

I'm just thankful for this year. I've learned yet again so many things this year. I've learned that family is the most important thing after God. Family by definition does not have to be blood related, but those of which can and will stick it with you all thoughout. This year, i've lost some and gained a whole lot. I've lost people whom i thought would be with me in my journey through life but i know there's a reason why those things happened. In exchange of that loss, i've gained so much more.. met new souls i now consider as family. This year, God proved to me that only he can redeem us. That He is all we need in this life. I had to constantly re-learn that but no regrets. Where im at now is where im supposed to be and i wouldnt want it any other way.

For this year, God answered most of my prayers in terms of the following: direction in life, stronger relationships with peers and family, and a clearer identity of myself. What i am most proud of this year is being able to be a real mother to JD. I was able to take my role as a mother to him this year without having to rely on my mom as much as before and its been great. Realizing that he's all i'll constantly really have throughout this lifetime. Sure it was challenging at first.. and at times it still is but at the end of the day, the fulfillment i get is incomparable to anything in this world. It's awesome!

So here's to 2008 as i bid you goodbye, and embrace 2009 as it enters. Thank you for the memories.. the great, good, and not so good ones. :)


B

I ask that of myself. I question that in others. Do I yearn with my life’s void for the art and honesty that glows from within music? Or do I lust desperately for the light that shines around it?

I can’t do this for the wrong reasons. The candles and fires I work so hard to place around me… with the time and weather of the world fading and withering… and leaving me cold again. Will I be caught in this never-ending struggle to keep the candles lit and burning?

I need to light the fire within myself, first.

Is it love for music? Or music for love?

There are moments when I catch myself, motivated by the selfish hope that the accolades and honor of succeeding in music will deliver me the love that always seems to allude me.

But that’s like the honor in impressing someone with that expensive car, those big muscles, that plentiful pride. That’s not honor. That’s childish. It is the shine and shimmer that cannot create light on its own. That you are merely the temporary reflection of brightest light you can bring near you.

So I stop myself. I resist and battle the thirst that can only be quenched from within. I’m reminded that true honor and true music… can only grow from the warmth of true love.

If i were to have a husband, i want him to be like Gary
If i were to have a son (which i happen to have), i want him to be like Gary
If i were to be fan of a local celeb, i want to be a fan of Gary

He rocked Araneta so hard people didnt wanna leave. It was my first time to watch his concert after so long and the guy still got it... even after how many years. We laughed, we danced, we sang, we shouted, we clapped, we awww-ed, we cried.... ibang leeevveeelll!!!

Amazing how a man like him can influence such a multitude of people... Amazing how he's able to reach out, make God known to the Filipinos through his music..and his life. A living testament i must say.

ALAAABBBBYUUUU GAAARRRYYY!!!! (THATS HOW THE FANS CHEEERED HIM ON... AND THESE FANS were like conyo and alll.. hahahahah. alaveettt!

You know how it is when we try to make our life more colorful? We peek into people's lives trying to make sense of how we live our life. We peek too much we sometimes forget to live our own lives. We try to pattern our lives into how people live theirs, and in the process we lose ourselves. We lose who we are, what our lives are all about. There are so many kinds of lives to live and i think the reason why we sometimes fail to live our own lives is because a part of us is scared to reach that destination where we ought to be. You know, the whole fork along the road,trying to figure out which path to take. I think the reason why we're afraid to live our lives at time is because it means there aint no turning back. We can't just erase it and pretend it didnt happen. We can't just click backspace and re-do things again.

I dont know about you but that's been a longstanding struggle for me. It's been a struggle because i know i can't undo things i have already done. Sure we can try to forget about it, pretend it never happened but eventually it'll somehow come to resurface itself. I know im scared when situations such as making a decision falls on my lap because i know i am the only person held accountable for whatever decision i make. I cant blame the world, or anyone else, but me.

There are things we have to do, and things we want to do. Sometimes we get caught up in between trying to figure out which one is which. What's more difficult is when we have to come into a decision whether to do something we have to or something we have to. Then i realized that life is indeed short. Thing we want aren't always what's best for us. Simple decisions as to where to go or what to say can totally change the direction of your life. Which means, every thought, every possibility, every decision counts. We have to make careful decisions with everything, and once you've made a decision, you have to be able to justify and be accountable for it.

Let's take for example my choice to keep my son and not abort it. It wasnt an easy choice. I had to give up my adolescent life in exchange for being a responsible mother. Along the way i may have tried having the best of both worlds... or so at least i tried but eventually failed in the process. How did i fail? Well, relationships with the people that really mattered to me were dampen. Through time i realized its one or the other, and it takes a whole lotta gutts in choosing the better choice.

Years back i thought its the end of enjoying my life for me. Dreams were shattered, hopes became far fetched goals. I struggled through the realization of having to grow up and being responsible. I tried to maximize the little "freedom" i had only to realize after all those years that it was a waste. Waste in a sense that it didn't help me improve my disposition in life. It actually pushed me back, and i had to start from scratch.

It wasn't easy starting from scratch. I was humbled in so many ways. It took a lot of will for me to unlearn certain habits, let go of certain relationships, hurts, etc. Eventually, things turned out pretty well.

I believe that we are tested every season. Every problem helps us improve ourselves and its really up to us on how we'll handle it. Our lives are just like the formation of a rainbow, a rain or storm has to happen in order for the clouds and rainbows to form. We need to go through hurdles so that we can appreciate the beauty life has to offer. It makes life less boring as well.

So why the deep entry? I dunno, i just felt this year has been a good year for me. It dont mean this year was all happy and dreamy times. In fact, it's the hurdles that made this year more colorful and meaningful. Its so amazing how time can change so many things.

So my point is.... live your OWN life. Don't let society dictate how your life should be. At the same time, be accountable for everything that happens in your life. Where you are now is because of the choices you made along the way. You cant blame God, the government, the world, your family, or your friends for the mishaps or the things going on in your life. You always have a choice..

Hey boy get yo act togetha. You aint nothin til i gotya from the dumps yo.

..Sometimes you gotta remind people and knock some sense into their heads.

..User shmuser alert.. BVVVVV BBBVVVV.

Blame it on my monthly dose of Spirit, but i've been listenin to Gospel House the whole day here at work. Even my secretary is playin it for the entire showroom to listen to. hehehe.

I've always been a Gospel House fan but i never really took the time out to research em or read about them. I usually just get my dose from the Marquezes or Spirit. I dont know why but for some weird reason after last night, the music just got me all hyped especially Benj's last song which is this...



I listen to basically all type of music.. from mainstream to underground but nothing beats music that uplifts your spirit. Music that brings positive vibe into your existence. Not all types of music do that. I think Gospel House is one of the few because the vibe gets you all pumpin. Sure i love Gospel rock as well but the dancin vibe is still something.

I remember gettin raised eyebrows from my dj friends then when id mention to them about Gospel house. They'd tease me and say "yo raise the roof..etc etc", but i guess theyre missin out on the awesomeness of the genre. Just like this song (look at the video on top), shes done songs that i be youve danced to in the club back in the day. (hint: you groove me- jon cutler feat kim english).

SO there... im taking a hiatus on mainstream music for now especially with rnb and hiphop where all they talk about are bling, money, sex, women. What ever happened to the awesome "change the world, peace" theme of old school hiphop? Gosh, now i miss THAT!

here she goes again.

Back in writing after weeks of being on hiatus. You know how you write because its an outlet? Well i missed that. The past few years my blog has been like that but i eventually had to filter some thoughts since more and more people have come to know of my blog. I missed just saying what i want to say at a certain point in time but i also realized that being careful with what i write helps big time as well. Whats the purpose of writing? I guess thats the bottomline.

Anyway, so hello world.. i am back.. at least for today. Things have been pretty busy and amazing the past months so im just bouncing here and there. I cant wait for my personal sabbath trip. I have yet to plan if i would do it all by myself or tag people along with me.

I finally bought some new trainers.. let's see if that'll encourage me to hit the gym. My Red Corner's been useless since March.. how sad is that? Oh well.

Be happy peoples.

Months and counting...

One thing common with my past relationships is the uncertain. Somehow, theyre always full of surprises, fun, something to look forward to. It comes naturally. It makes it all the more fun.


On our way home from an event, he asked for certainty. Something i couldnt really give a specific answer to. So i thought for a bit, and just said " Enjoy the ride hun."

And enjoy it is.


Lav et. =)

WHat i find funny is people putting meat into things that arent even there. So last season.

Now, off to reviewing them bid docs. *insert death music*

Then..

lbs lighter, hair longer, more notorious, lost soul

Now..

lbs heavier, much simpler, more focused, less lost.

I've reach a point wherein i'm very much satisfied. I get to help, work, and maximize my potential and at the same time leave enough space for improvement.

I've figured out the people that really matter, even things that really matter.

Sure i get worn out from work, but i wouldnt want it any other way. I'm here for a purpose, for a reason, and im just so excited with the things that will transpire in the future. It's slowly coming to life.. =)

Gym guy is apparently in a new show and was an image model for Folded and Hung. hmmm....

Arguments may win you battles, but it can never win you hearts.

He said: We were together for a while but she broke my heart
I said: We dated. Nothing serious!
She said: So which is which?
I said: We dated!
He said: and broke my heart!
I said: You broke it off days before Christmas!
He said: Coz you were happier with him!
I said: Him? Who him?
He said: The one who broke your heart!
She said: Biancs! such a heartbreaker!
I said: No! Theyre just the wrong people!!
He said: THATS WHAT YOU ALWAYS SAY!!!
I Said: because its true!!!!!

-and we all chugged down the wine-

She said: But do u still like him?
I said: who?
She said: Him (and points out to gargoyle)
I laugh, He stares
I said: I still crush him coz hes hot but friendship is all i have to offer.
and they both say AWWWWWWWW, him with a sad puppy dog face
She said: good. so hes all mine
I said: u bet!

Now thats what i call getting along with your ex's current chicks.

Later that night he asked if i felt in any awkward during his girl's ambush interview to which i replied with a no. Although i told him she was too hot i could stare all night.. which i did.. me thinks.

Got this in my mail coupla days back.
Made me smile and sigh like a kilig teen-adyer.

B,
X years and counting and you still got me all giddy. Enjoy this.I know you will be smiling at work. Don't stress much!
Here's lookin at ya, kid!
Sums up our Love. Love you much. =)

Love,
Su Amor.


"Love Like This"
(feat. Sean Kingston)

[Natasha:]
Oh…
Never find a love like this
Oh…
Never find a love like this

We go back so far,
swinging in your back yard,
all the things that we used to do
We were cool back in high school
ooh I really liked you,
must have been your attitude.

[Chorus:]
That's why you keep on running
in and out of my mind.
As the years they'll roll by,
Baby, now I know why
I keep coming back to you.
You're the only one that knows me,
love it when you hold me,
never find a love like this
Let me hear you say
now I'll never be lonely,
look at what you've shown me,
never find a love like this

Well this life tried to keep us apart
you keep calling me back to your heart
Let me hear you say
I'm so glad you found me,
wrap your world around me,
never find a love like this.

All the guys tried to take me,
you're the one who saved me,
I feel like I owe you my life.
And as strange as it may seem,
I'll go if you take me
I'm willing to sacrifice.

[Chorus]

'cause this life tried to keep us apart,
you keep calling me back to your heart.
Let me hear you say,
aren't you glad you found me,
wrap you all around me,
never find a love like this.

[Sean Kingston:]
May never find a love, love, love a love like this,
that still make me think about my middle school kiss.
I sit here in this chair and I wish
for you not to leave me now.
My friends they always told me
not to make you my wife,
man they was putting you down.
And now they see we rolling,
me and you, we strolling,
they don't wanna come around.

[Natasha:]
Let me hear you say,
you're the only one that knows me,
love it when you hold me,
never find a love like this.
Let me hear you say,
now I'll never be lonely,
look at what you've shown me,
never find a love like this.

When this life tries to keep us apart,
you keep calling me back to your heart.
Let me hear you say,
I'm so glad you found me,
wrap you all around me,
never find a love like this,

Oh… Never find a love like this…
When this life tried to keep us apart,
you keep calling me back to your heart,
Let me hear you say,
Oh… Never find a love like this.
Oh… Never find a love like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t6iNXgvRXU

Before i go into hiatus, let me share with you a funny story. =)

If you live in the north youve probably seen those ahead billboards and tarps around the katipunan, or edsa area. Yup, i've had friends tell me they have seen my billboard on Edsa, or Katipunan. Some asked if it was me coz the hair looked rather different. Just to clarify, although it's flattering to have your own billboard (especially if its a billboard thats not baduy or something) that no its not me . My twin perhaps? If you haven't known, i do have a twin that goes by the name Binaca. hahaha.

Also, to clarify, i am not Sharon Cuneta, Cherry Pie Picache nor Karen Davila.. and heck not Ara Mina. I'm not saying theyre ugly. In fact, these personalities are one of the rarest, smartest women in their industry but i am not them. I guess its the hair cut plus Shawie's Caregiver movie that a lot of people have mistaken me this past month as either of these celebs. Sharon and Cherry Pie most of the time. It was this month that i hit an all time high though. Everyday i would be mistaken as either Sharon or Cherry Pie. It was madness. Like this one time I bought macaroons at Bizu. The waiter just basically stared at me the whole time. Weird stare the entire time i was figuring out which macaroons to order. Then when i was about to pay he blurted out with " maaaamm akala ko po si sharon kayo! grabee..." So i smiled and said no. Upon leaving Bizu, he waved goodbye and screamed "Goodnight Ms. Shawie!" for the entire resto to hear and stare as well. Sigh. Take note that it's just one of the very many celeb moments. hahaha.

Yep you heard that right. Bee will be on a temporary hiatus til further notice. This month has been a reflection downtime for me in all aspects. I'm at this point wherein i gotta make careful choices and decisions because it will define my future.. or i'd like to think so.

There have been moving plans the past few months. I know i've mentioned months back my option of leaving for the States to get away from the hustle and bustle of this country. I felt then that i needed a breather from all the stress from the famly biz and the lil dramas here and there. Plan was to move to Cali with Ting and work our butts there and maybe finish school for me but we had to put those plans on hold coz we were both busy jugglin our work here. Then eventually, the trip with my mom and son had to be pushed back as well since a lot of good changes have been happenin to the famly biz so my mom couldnt afford to have a vaca while all the changes are happening. So i think it's bumped off to next year. Then,my choice to go back to school and finally enroll this school year happened plus the decision to temporarily back off from workin with the famly biz happened.

Basically, the past month has been about restructuring and figuring out what it is that matters, and what it is I wanna do. I'm not getting any younger, and i guess i can't really put this thing on hold for long. I still feel like im not quite certain what it is i wanna do with my life, although i pretty much am figuring out the blue print my life should lead career wise lil by lil. So a year and 8 months more to go before i finally finish school. In this country, it aint easy finding work (not using your connections at all!) without a college diploma, trust me i should know. From getting offered low paying odd jobs, to no brainer soso paying jobs.. It gets pretty tiring i must say. I'm lucky i have a fallback to run to in case "all else fails" but while i'm at my prime, i wanna make sure i rise to the top with no special treatment, and get promoted based on my own merits. I think thats the way it should be although i think i have already proven that corporate is not for me. So Less, Juls, Rog, and Mi.. i think we gotta think of a biz already!

So why am i takin this hiatus? Well for one i need to listen more to what He has to say about the direction of my life. I think i've lost His say on my life and focused on what the world's measure of success and happiness is that i forgot the fundamentals really. It's been a mixture of exciting, fun, yet scary. Excited for what's to come. Having fun with whatever comes your way yet also scared with the unexpected. That's normal though. If there's anything i've enjoyed, it's really the quality time i've been spending with my son, and my loved ones. Given a choice, i would really just love to be a housewife.. hahaha!

Anyhoo, updates i may be posting in the next few weeks may be random stuff but not personal ones. Too much strangers keepin close on my blog for xx amount of years. Couldnt blame them though, but i've learned over the years that some things are left to be kept private. Plus, like what i said in my other blog.. the purpose of my blogs arent to bash people, hurt people, nor rant away like a whining kid.. but really to touch people.. one way or another especially those who could very well relate with me. If not touching people, at least give them a daily food for thought may it be in the form of a personal story i share, music i suggest, activities i share and what not. Bottomline is.. I want YOUR SOUL to be FED. And it's not just because i wanna make myself look good to my readers coz believe me there are people out there who got nothing but hate in em. I wanna feed your soul with the genuinest of intentions because i know how it feels to read something and learning and realizing things from it and i wanna pay that forward as much as i can.

Friends have been buggin me to start on my book already, but i feel i need more experience and more stories to tell. It's something to look forward to though.

So, adieu for now and stay hungry. =)

Up for a new adventure this season. Amazing i must say. Interesting, challenging, you name it. I'd like to think it's a reality to my life goals. Little steps.

Subject title is like that because i've been on a rock n roll mood this weekend. Except for Estelle when driving. Oh, thats another breakthrough.. driving my manual toy car from my house to Rockwell Saturday night.. with passengers with me! It went smooth.. thank God it wasn't traffic. Next challenge is to drive to Makati on broad daylight.. traffic and all. Good luck to me!

I see Him working in me.. and this time im not going to resist. Pretty tough but will get through this. I'm up for it!

I'm cutting down on my unnecessary expenses to save up more. I dont want to rely on mother goose for my own place, so thats the next goal. With the price of oil going up, i'm to believe that commuting is the best way to go. Something i havent done in ages. Shux. Public transport is good.. but not here in Manila. If only it were like in NYC or Europe or something then why not, but not here. Although motorists wouldnt have much of a choice if and when the price of oil wont go down. Damn who wouldve thought itd reach 50 bucks! Wala pa yung parking and car maintenance! I hope the price goes down.

I hope more people attend Spirit. Last night was just awesome. The vibe, the people.. everything!
And im not just promoting it coz it's Gospel House music but because we need a revolution with the clubbing scene in this country. We just can't keep on copying and copying other countries with their style. We gotta revolutionize something that we can call OURS. We need a movement that will empower OUR generation in a positive way. We need good change. Last night was the first night i went clubbing wherein my eyes didnt hurt from the cig smoke nor did i see hammered people all over. People were just there to simply enjoy the music, their friends' company, and the the vibe.

On to lighter things, this neighbor of mine seems to be bonding with my son lately to the point of my son telling me "mommy i want tito ______ to be my new daddy". I dont think its a good sign. That guy is better off in Canada where he belongs. hahahaha.

I pray not all of my money would go to lawyers. Sometimes you just gotta put your foot down. Gotta know when you cant take and cant take anymore. At this point, i can't take no more. 4 years is enough. Anything more than that is just plain stupidity. This action wont be out of revenge. Its merely getting that person to act up on his responsibility. Its his load, but the past four years its been MY family's burden. Finally, after much prodding with my mom, i finally got the "do what u gotta do" signal. FINAFRICKINLY. So wish me luck. This is yet another challenge aside from work and school and the usual Momma Bee adventures.

A friend forwarded this to me. Back when we were at the beach, we had a debate about women submitting to their men. It was a healthy conversation that led to a heated debate. It ended with the boys just letting it slide. Then today, this gets forwarded to me.

"Why Do Families (And The World) Lack So Much Love? Mostly, It's Because
Husbands Aren't Loving Enough


Two days ago, I had an ecumenical meeting with the President Gloria and
various religious leaders in the country (even Muslim leaders). That was
where I spoke to Bishop Ruben Abante, the head of the Alliance of Baptist
Churches in the Philippines . We were talking about how to solve the
problems of the world. Naks.

That was when Bishop Ruben gave me a word about families that blew
my mind.

He said, "Brother Bo, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, 'Husbands,
love your wives, and wives submit to your husbands.' Have you ever wondered
why the Bible doesn't say, 'Wives, love your husbands?'"

"Why?" I asked.

The Bishop explained to me that the responsibility to love the
family rests on the husband's shoulder. The wife and the kids are only to
respond to that love. In the same way that the Bible says in 1 John 4:9 (my
life verse) "We love because He first loved us," we respond to God's love
for us.

That was powerful. I began to reflect on all the broken families I've
counseled through the past 28 years of my life. Most of them (not all) were
broken because the father didn't love enough. And as I reflect on all the
broken people I've counselled, I can see the same pattern. In most of these
individuals (again, not all), I see the lack of a loving father in that
person's life.

Fathers, you have a pivotal role in the life of your wife and
children. You are to aggressively, assertively, deliberately love them-and
they will respond.

But the good Bishop was not finished. He said, "Why didn't God say,
'Husbands, submit to your wife?'"

"Why?" I asked again.

He said that once that love is there, submission is the natural
response. He asked, "Why is there so much rebellion and disobedience among
children today?" He explained that kids need to see their mother submit to
their father as a model to follow. (We didn't have time to talk about
situations where the man of the house doesn't love. Should the wife still
submit? That difficult question I hope to answer it in another article.)

But let me share with you my experience.

I love my wife. I do it aggressively, assertively, and
deliberately. And she submits to my leadership. I have a vision for the
family and I'm bringing my family to that vision-and she supports me. But
what does that mean in daily life? That I'm king and she's my slave? Gosh,
you should visit my home.

Because I love her, I want to serve her. And because she follows already my
general direction, I realize that 90% of life's decisions are about the
trivial stuff. Because I love her, it's my joy to say, "Yes" to her. So in
reality, I follow her 90% of the time! She isn't my slave. She is the queen
I pamper.

That, my friends, is marital headship-submission in daily life.

It is with this note that I greet you a Happy Valentines Day. May your
families be filled with love.

Husbands, take responsibility in filling your family with love.

Wives, support and submit to your husband.

And together, we can fill the world with God's love.

I remain your friend,
Bo Sanchez"

If you haven't watched Sex and the City the movie, i suggest you skip my entry.

I just finished watching it with the girls while the boys played DOTA. I was never a follower of SATC back when they were still airing em in HBO because 1) my mom was against it (too much sex stuff kaya hanggan RPN lang ako dati! hahaha) 2) i wasn't really into watching tv series then. I was never an avid dvd collector then and i relied on borrowing from friends, but the thought of borrowing made me lazy which meant me not finishing the entire series except the super finale. Anyway, case in point, i didn't know what to expect with the movie.

I heard reviews that the series were much better, but i think the movie somehow gave the series as a whole, justice. There were a lot of scenes wherein we laughed. Now, having watched movies with me, youd know how much of a loud movie buddy i am. So yeah, i laughed like anything many times in the movie. And of course, the awww moments were there as well. It was a pretty balanced film i must say.

A couple of insights from the movie.

1) LOVE can be found in all shapes and sizes.
I think you will agree with me that the movie, with its material aspect aside centers on the theme of LOVE. Love that can be found in a city, in a pair of shoes, in a home, in your walk-in closet, in your job, in your friends, in your family, in your better half, and of course, in yourself. It basically shows the different kinds of Love we experience while living in this earth. Together with that love, is the vulnerability to pain. How when you you love something or someone, there comes a certain expectation may it be high or low. Expectation with the Manolos you love to not break on you when you're out painting the town red, or expectation you have with a girlfriend who you expect to tell you everything may it be good or bad, or the expectation you have with your husband to stay true to you. When you love someone or something, chances are it will, at one point in your life, disappoint you. Which brings me to my second insight...

2)The power of LOVE
Love has so much power. Love can make or break something,or someone. Love, in its purest and realest form can sweeten a love thats gone sour. Love can help overcome tough circumstances. Love can change someone's life, for better or for worse. Love can heal a broken heart. It can give hope to those who have none. For me, i think the most powerful thing Love can do to anyone is to be able to Forgive. Being able to forgive fully, and wipe the slate clean. The choice of loving instead of hating. The choice of dropping past hurts and letting the love be above all.

I think ive heard in a commercial back then that "All we need is love". I think that's true. If we only love more, maybe the world would be a better place to live in. If we chose to love more, maybe less hurts will be encountered.

We all want Love. We seek for it, we demand it, heck, we give it. We need Love. It keeps us sane. It gives us reason, day in and day out to live. To have something to look forward to.

What do you love? What makes you want to love?

Are you like Charlotte who loves her seemingly perfect family?
Are you like Miranda, who has yet to realize what truly it is she loves?
Are you like Samantha who believes loving herself is the number priority?
or are you like Carrie, who just wants her love to have a happy ending?

Blog spring cleaning especially here since i usually update here as compared to the other one.
That's more like it.


Excited for tonight.
Personal chef.
Yummy menu.
Only for us. ;)

Because today was one of the funnest mom's day so far.. =)

Bouquet of roses, blueberry cheesecake, mom's day card on my bed when i got home for the entire fam to see. With no signature on who it was from except a text from an unknown number which said "to one of the loveliest moms i know.im grateful to have you..love you".

=)

Ral was right when he said i have knack for pushing the people i love and love me away. I remember him repeatedly saying that during one of our fights then. Somehow, i manage to find something wrong with the relationship. Of course back then i begged to disagree and gave points to defend myself, but i guess this time he is right.

Imagine having the person you ideally wanted to have. I got mine. I got mine after years of tirelessly looking. What was funny is that he came when i least expected it. From the outside it was perfect, too perfect i guess. He had EVERYTHING i wanted for in a partner. He was everything i wanted my partner to be, and he wasnt that just because he knew thats how i wanted him to be. He simply was that kind of person yet somehow i felt i didnt deserve such person. So i distanced and became very cautious to the point of pushing him away. Pushing him away to the point of giving up. Talk about strike two huh?

The only difference this had with the last was that this one didnt have hang ups. He was very certain he was going to build a future for us. He knew what he wanted, but i didnt. Thats what sucks. It was such a "its not you, its me" line.

I've come to the realization that if it isnt meant to be, it really isnt. You'll know it, and youll feel it. With Ral, i knew it wont work because we both had to work on personal things. With this one, I had to work on things. I guess whats left now is hope. Hope that we'll all be happy. I havent fully lost him, but space for us is the best thing at this point.

It's amazing how God's able to heal and restore though. Indeed, things do happen for a reason and when you start walking His path, only good things can come. Sure i feel sad. I feel sad because ive lost once again that security that i have someone to share things with but at the same time i am happy because of the greater picture that's about to transpire.

toute ma vie j'ai pu échouer et m'endommage mais une chose m'a rendu capable à courir la race de vie une fois plus.. de nouveau... c'est quand je vous ai à la ligne d'arrivée... inspirer que me pour déplacer sur... je vous aime
----------------------------------------------